“Because You Are Good”

Last Halloween, I was asked by my then 4-year-old nephew “H” to dress as Robin because he was going to be Batman. I obliged wholeheartedly and we had a great time trick or treating together as the dynamic duo. In fact, my favorite photo from 2015 is one where we are holding hands while trick or treating, taken from the back angle by my sister.

This past August,  I asked “H” what he wanted me to be this year.

Of course, I was hoping he’d say, “Boba Fett.”

He thought for a minute and then said, “I think you should be a fairy godmother.”

Since I am not very girly or fairylike at all, I had no idea what to do for my costume.  I asked “H” what he thought a fairy godmother should wear.

“Well, you have to have a wand, and a dress I guess,” he said.

A month passed, and I asked him again what I should be, just in case he changed his mind.

His answer was exactly the same: “I think you should be a fairy godmother.”

I got the point.

I had to be a fairy godmother.

“H”‘s request melted my heartstrings and made my soul happy.

I obtained a recycled blue prom-ish dress, which I had to close with duct-tape since I could only get it to zip up half way. I covered it with spray adhesive, then with glitter sparkles. I crafted a makeshift wand out of a stick, cardboard, and ribbons in 5 minutes after I realized I misplaced the one with lights I bought. I also wore a silver cape, which was my favorite part of the costume.

In theory, my dress looked awesome, but in true fairy fashion, I left a trail of sparkles everywhere I went. I issued repeated apologies to my brother and sister for the tornadic glitter mess I created in their house. Clearly, I didn’t apply enough spray adhesive, and I accepted the fact that I was an inept fairy dress creator.

But “H” didn’t care. He loved my wand and my costume, and that’s what mattered the most.

My other nephew, the 2.5-year-old “I”, said I looked like a mermaid.

“H” was a very cute R2D2, and “I” was BB-8, his favorite.

“I” was sitting on my lap before we went trick or treating eating a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup and getting sparkles all over his BB-8 garb and hat.

I told a story to my sister and her father about how my brother had to sell Reese’s cups for something when he was younger.  I brought a box of them to sell at my high school in an attempt to help him out, but I ended up eating the whole box myself over a course of two weeks.  I then had to figure out how to pay for them without my parents finding out what I did.

I turned to “I” and said, “Can you believe that? I was bad!”

He said, “No. Because you are good.”

My sister continued making mummy hot dogs, “H” played with his new Disney Tsum Tsum, and “I” snuck another candy treat to eat. Soon after we all left to go trick or treating, which was a lot of fun.

After I got home, I remembered word for word what “I” said. I wrote it down in my journal and began to think about it.

Because you are good.

I suddenly realized the magnitude of “I”‘s seemingly simple statement, then experienced an epiphany that is hard to describe, unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before.

I heard his sweet, little voice say those words over and over in my mind.

Because you are good.

And I lost it. I mean, I completely lost it.

Ever since, I’ve been weepy and actually sobbing here and there, tears filled with joy combined with acceptance and love and hope and reassurance and more. I’m weepy right now, in fact, as I write this.

The impact of “I”‘s words has rocked my world in such an awesome and splendid way.

Because you are good.

Four small words said by my innocent, loving, and caring 2.5-year-old nephew have changed my entire perception of me, my life, and my worth.

I put up a good front on the outside. But truth be told, I now freely admit I honestly have never thought I was good or believed I was good enough for a variety of reasons.


Until Monday afternoon.

Because you are good.

Holy shit.

I am, indeed, good.

3 thoughts on ““Because You Are Good”

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