“Mission from the Universe” Part 4: The Web of Connections

20160810 4 Days Blog Photo New Fonts(Click HERE to read Part 1Click HERE to read Part 2 – Click HERE to read Part 3)

I’ve been aware of these so-called signs for about 10 months or so. It kills me thinking about all of the signs I might have missed before I figured out what was going on, but alas, that’s doing the very thing I vowed to STOP doing, which is looking at the past.

Move on, Jill. Move on.

The signs or clues come in a variety of forms and through a variety of means, including through the words of others, through technology by emails and posts, through song lyrics and recurring songs that “randomly” are played, and through books and articles, to name a few.

Some of the signs have actually been physical, tangible items. Those are the ones with the strongest punch, the ones that fill me with chills and awe and joy.

One such example is a post I wrote last month, where GALICIA, a region I had never heard of before, popped up twice in one day from two completely separate sources. You can read that post here.

Now, did SHE actually send me that connection or that word?

Probably not.

Can I connect her to that line on my web somehow?

Yes I can.

Because I am headed to Dublin, I began researching my family history to see if we have an Irish connection. Through that research, I unearthed the region of GALICIA on my family tree, as well as read about it in a book given to me by a former student from where SHE was my colleague. Roundabout yes, but without this trip, I probably wouldn’t have even thought to take a look at my heritage.

It’s like a massive 6 Degrees of Separation thing.

I’m still hoping to find an Irish connection in my heritage before the trip, but if I don’t, no worries. Perhaps that story I was told about one of my great-grandfathers coming from Ireland wasn’t accurate. With the way my luck goes, I’ll find a connection on the first day I return. 😉  And if that happens, that’s the way the universe wants it to happen. I’m okay with it.

Here, in no particular order, are some of the terms on my Web of Connections that I’ve been led to over the past year. While I am comfortable sharing these terms, I am not open to discussing possible meanings at this time, as this is very personal. I have an idea about what some might be referring to or where some might be leading, but I need to figure everything out on my own.  I kindly request that you refrain from providing any insight, comments, interpretations, or opinions about what you think something might mean or symbolize. The time will come when I will ask for opinions and the like (believe me, I’m looking forward to it!).

Now is not that time. Thank you very much for your understanding.

  • Ireland/Dublin (of course)
  • James Joyce

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    My Web of Connections, intentionally blurred to protect confidentiality
  • Seamus Heaney
  • Midnight
  • Light
  • Dark
  • Open
  • Serve
  • Galicia/Austria/Poland/Russia
  • Malcolm Gladwell
  • Dig/Digging
  • Write/Writing
  • Soul
  • Me/We
  • Treasure
  • Signs
  • Sun/Sunlight
  • Sky
  • Green
  • Pilgrimage
  • Paulo Coelho
  • Triskelion symbol
  • Terms from the past that have made an appearance include ships and ghost story.

Stay tuned for Part 5: Walking the Path tomorrow.

“Mission from the Universe” Part 2: SHE and ME

“Mission from the Universe” Part 2: SHE and ME

(If you missed Part 1, please click here to read.)

SHE loved James Joyce, Seamus Heaney, and other British and Irish authors. SHE was of Irish heritage, but SHE never got to visit her homeland, the place she loved, the place she hoped to see with her own eyes and walk with her own feet.

While on the streets of Dublin in 2014, I swear I saw her at least three times in the crowd. I recognized her hair, her smile, and her eyes immediately. She was happy and at peace. Those 3 sightings are as clear in my brain as what I just looked at a second ago.

SHE and I were colleagues for 14 years and spent a lot of time together from September through June. We’d share duty periods, lunch periods, meetings, activities, and prep periods together as much as our schedules would allow.

Whenever she’d see me, she’d say, “Hey, you.”

I can still hear her voice say those two words, and I probably will for the rest of my life.

Outside of our work hours and months, we texted here and there and saw each other for lunch usually once a summer. We weren’t best friends by any means, but we confided in and supported each other no matter what. A treasured friend. That’s how I think of her.

As I wrote yesterday, I lost my father-in-law four months after SHE was gone, then was hit with another punch to my soul when my own father died from a massive stroke in his sleep 8 months later.

For the most part, it was a real shitty time for me from December 2013 through early 2015.

The upside since?

I am more aware of LIFE and what the term “living” actually means.

I want to LIVE MY LIFE, which is, unfortunately, a life negatively affected by a very active Lupus flare since last year. My health limitations amplify the importance of “living” as much as possible every minute of every day.

And man, do I cherish the good days and moments.

I am no longer a lackey. Instead, I confidently and unwaveringly say NO when my life, my health, my peace of mind, or my well-being will be negatively affected, nor do I allow the precious time I have left here on Earth to be pilfered away by someone else’s agenda, to do list, or so-called “emergency.”

Yep, there SHE is, that spit-fire, coming out through my words! Loving it!

For some reason, SHE has definitely been more in my life since her passing than when she physically walked on Earth, which has been pretty freaking awesome.

Our connection is stronger now than ever. It took me a while to believe it too, so I don’t begrudge you for thinking that I might be a little nutty or if you doubt that this is all part of a bigger thing going on.

But it is. It’s much bigger than me.

I’m following my heart and listening to the universe. SHE’s playing a very active hand with the universe, and at times, she is holding the winning card.

It’s definitely more than so-called “coincidences.”

Things that happened in my past, and I mean like 20 years ago past are now making sense through the massive web of signs and connections SHE has, in part, guided me to over the past year and a half.

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The James Joyce Tower near Dun Laoghaire, Dublin, Ireland

SHE is giving me confidence and the gumption to say YES to life on my terms.

SHE is helping me find my voice.

And in 6 days, SHE will have succeeded in her long campaign of getting me to return to Dublin.

Stay tuned for Part 3: Be Open tomorrow.

“Mission from the Universe” Part 1: The Ides of 2014

20160807 Y Days Blog Photo New FontsI’ve been alluding to my upcoming adventure, which I have dubbed my “Mission from the Universe,” for some time now in random SoulSEAker posts.

Now the real countdown has begun. As my mission will commence in 7 days, I am ready to share parts of my story with you.

PART 1: The Ides of 2014. I was originally supposed to visit Ireland, Wales, and England with fellow teachers and students in April of 2014, but it was not meant to be. My father-in-law unexpectedly passed away the day before I was supposed to leave, and instead of kissing the Blarney Stone during Spring Break, I kissed Poppy goodbye for the last time.

Losing him was just surreal, like every death we all have dealt with I’m sure, but this was POPPY. He was the glue that held us all together, and we were all left shattered, heartbroken, and lost. A few times I just collapsed on my living room floor and lay there, in the fetal position and in solitude, sobbing uncontrollably.

Personally, I was also extremely angry, which at the time was misunderstood as selfishness.

That was the furthest from the truth: It wasn’t because I couldn’t go on the trip. Rather, I was angry that we were all robbed of Poppy and his presence in our lives.

I was still reeling in silence at losing a treasured friend and colleague (who I will call SHE for now) four months prior. I kept that grief bottled up inside ever since I received that fateful phone call from my friend D over winter break. Now here I was again, confronted with another huge and unexpected loss over a break, and I was pissed beyond belief.

I mean I literally saw red a few times. Literally.

I wanted to hit, punch, kick, and scream, and I did up at the beach three times. I am sure I looked like a raving lunatic yelling at the waves and the sand as I acted out like a two-year-old, but man, I had to in order to release the anger from my system. Looking back now, I think that was the angriest I have ever been in my life.

When my nephew, who was 8 at the time, heard the news of Poppy’s passing, he cried, “Things are going to be so different now.”

He was right.

It is true that “This Too Shall Pass,” and as each tomorrow became today, things subtlely returned to as normal as life would be, albeit with that sparkle in Poppy’s eye missing, his compassion and kindness now absent.

I was able to get a refund for my missed trip (sidebar: always spend the extra to get the trip insurance).  As luck would have it, my mother and a longtime friend both agreed to accompany me in July/August on a similar trip to Ireland, Wales, and England. We left on July 26 and returned on August 3, 2014. Throughout the week, we visited Dublin, Killarney, Waterford, Cardiff, Stonehenge, Bath, and London.

It’s now two years later, and I am headed to Ireland again a week from today with the same longtime friend.

This time, we will only be staying in Dublin. That’s by design.

Those who really know me know I am a creature of habit, and hearing that I am returning to Ireland next week might not be a surprise.

Others have asked why I would spend money and time to see someplace I already visited.

The reason?

It’s my mission from the universe, and I must go.

Stay tuned for Part 2: SHE and ME tomorrow.

And, yes. The term Mission from the Universe was inspired by Jake and Elwood Blues. I certainly won’t be causing as much damage as they did…or will I? 😉